Stranger to Skyrim: The Adventures of Oldman

Stranger To Skyrim:

The Journal Of A Senile Man

Welcome to Stranger to Skyrim, where our hero Oldman fights the fight of survival in these harsh, cold lands of Skyrim.

It was not Oldman's fault that he stumbled upon the capture of Ulfric Stormcloak at the will of General Tullius, but it was his destiny. He was taken to Helgen with the others, memory of his past wiped clean after an Imperial bludgeoned his head with the hilt of his sword. Luckily for Oldman, he escaped with Hadvar and was set free in the vast realm of Skyrim.

While dragons roam the skies and the Dragonborn fends them off, Oldman must do whatever he can to survive the times, for they are constantly changing and always unpredictable. Left only with a name and an iPhone in which he can take pictures, Oldman vows to make a scrapbook/journal of the new memories he will create.

Ground Rules

Average people in Skyrim don't go fighting dragons. Instead, the hunt, sell their goods, or pick crops. To insure Oldman is as much of an NPC as humanly possible, here are some ground rules for our friend.

Rule # 1: Quests

For the most part, Oldman is not allowed to take on normal quests. That includes the Dragonborn quest. I did make a couple exceptions: 

Exception: Oldman may do non-dangerous quests that involve taking an item from one person to another (i.e. delivering the Blacksmith's sword to her father, the Jarl's Steward.) Oldman may only do messenger-esque quests that involve no danger and no fighting. Quests that convince someone to do something are OK.

Exception: Sometimes, you will receive bounty letters. While Oldman is not allowed to fight, he may hire a mercenary to do the fighting for him. This is only okay with bounties because they are a legitimate form of work. However, Oldman may not join in the fight; his mercenary must kill the monster while Oldman hides behind a rock or tree. Unless the monster kills his mercenary, Oldman is not to touch that monster. Also, since he paid (or convinced) a mercenary to do the work, the bounty prize must be split 50-50 between Oldman and the mercenary.

Rule #2: Fighting & Weapons

Oldman is just an old man. He isn't a warrior. That means that he isn't allowed to go wandering into caves or fortresses with a mace or a broadsword. There are, however, 2 weapons Oldman may use.

Dagger: Every man is entitled to defend himself. While Oldman isn't allowed to go looking for trouble, he will likely be attacked by wolves one day. He has a right to self defense, and may carry 1 dagger of any craft. It may not be enchanted.

Bow & Arrows: Hunting is perfectly acceptable profession, therefore, Oldman may carry a bow and arrows, regardless of type. He may not use them on anything other than game.

Rule #3: Leveling Up

Everybody gets better at the things they do - - even Oldman, despite his immaculate uselessness. Oldman may indeed level up, but there are certain parameters here. Oldman may level up in any category that will help him with work or his every day life. He may not level up in anything having to do with fighting, because he isn't a warrior, and he certainly isn't a mage.

NOT OK: Alteration, Conjuration, Destruction, Illusion, Restoration, One-Handed, Two-Handed, Archery, Block, Heavy Armor, Light Armor.
OK: Enchanting, Smithing, Pickpocket, Lockpicking, Sneak, Alchemy, Speech.*
*The ones marked OK are allowed because they can help an average person with average things. For example, if Oldman wants to become a thief, so be it; pickpocket will serve him well. Of course, if he gets caught, he has to deal with the consequences. Things like Alchemy, Smithing and Enchanting are not to help him in battle, but to help him sell his wares as a merchant. Speech will help him get better deals with his fellow merchants.

Rule #4: The Life of Oldman: Accomplishments Met on a Daily Basis

There are things every NPC does daily: eat, sleep, work, etc. No exceptions are given to Oldman. He's living in Skyrim, now!

• Sleeping - Oldman must sleep every night. He must sleep at least 6 hours, between 10pm and 8am. If he has any coin, and a bed is within reach, he must sleep there (because nobody sleeps in the forest to save a few bucks.) However, if he is travelling from city to city and he's on the road with no bed in sight, he must set up camp (i.e. something soft to sleep on like a wolf hide, food, drink, etc) and it must be at a safe place; he must make the best camp possible and wait ("sleep") for 6 hours.
• Eating - Everyone eats, and Oldman must have 3 meals a day: breakfast, lunch and dinner. He may consume raw foods (i.e. tomatoes, cabbage, etc) for breakfast and lunch. But only if those foods are traditionally consumed raw. He may not, for example, eat raw Rock Warbler eggs for breakfast. Dinner must be a fully cooked meal, like stew or venison chop. Time for eating is simple: Breakfast must be eaten before noon, Lunch must be eaten between noon and 6, and dinner must be eaten after 6.

Rule #5: Work

The rules are simple: Oldman must work 5 days out of 7. On each of those days, he must work for at least 8 hours. He will, of course, have to take a lunch break which may consist of going to the tavern and getting some food, or going to a local spit to cook something; he may also just stand under a tree and eat an apple...but then it's back to work! At the end of the day, he'll clock in, sell his goods and go home...or wherever the old man is currently sleeping. 

What constitutes work? 

• Mining in a mine or outdoors (if outdoors, he must constantly be on the lookout for ore deposits)
• Collecting alchemical ingredients (must always be collecting, same with ore)
• Chopping wood
• Picking crops on a farm
• Doing errands (see Rule #1 Quests) for the townsfolk
• Working at a forge to craft weapons to sell, not to use!
• Crafting potions to sell
• Enchanting items to sell
• Stealing items or gold from people
• Anything that can bring in a significant amount of money at the end of the day

Rule #6: Oldman's Scrapbook

Oldman is recording all of his fabulous adventures in his handy scrapbook journal. He writes about where he worked, the interesting people he met, the humdrum adventures of a senile, old fart. Oldman must write every night before bed. He must also use his iPhone to take at least 3 pictures of interesting things that happened that day...or just pictures of himself making funny faces. His journal entries will appear here, in the scrapbook "Stranger to Skyrim."

Rule #7: Permanence

The final rule is this: everything in the life of Oldman is permanent. If he pickpockets somebody and gets caught, he must suffer the consequences by paying up, going to jail, or convincing the guard he doesn't know where he is or what year it is. If his best friend is mauled by a bear and dies, they stay dead. That being said, Oldman is just as mortal as anyone in Skyrim: if he dies, he's dead.

Oldman's Personal Goals

Oldman isn't going to have an easy time adjusting to the harsh weather and people. Especially since that whack on the head from that jerk Imperial rendered him amnesia-riddled. Now, it's his will to make new memories, meet new friends and make a new life out of nothing. With only a name, a dagger for protection, and some rags on his back, Oldman is thrust into the world with a few simple goals of his own:

• Oldman wants to make a decent living and make some money
• Oldman wants to have a nice house
• Oldman wants to marry a busty woman who will cook and clean
• Oldman wants to be a merchant and sell unique items without having to do much work
• Oldman wants to be a thane!
• Oldman wants his own personal housecarl to protect him from danger
• Oldman literally wants a chest full of gold!
• Oldman wants to dabble in skooma
• Oldman wants to make a scrapbook

Let The Adventure Begin!

Now, Oldman sets off into the world of Skyrim with endless possibilities before him. Will he meet all of his goals? Will he find love in that cold, harsh land? Will he drink skooma and run naked through the fields? Or will a bear get to him first?

Wish him luck!!